Fornication Multiplication

Yep, this would be a second quiz for my other cyberspace personalities...You guys can copy & paste the questions and add it to your profiles if you wish. That's what I made it for, after all!


Here's my tailored version:

1. Would you be in a weird moral position if you had to do cross-way sex with a person with two heads?

Nah! I’m not obliged to morality

2. Did you bedazzle your electronic gadget?

Once but the damn things seem to peel off and Verizon Wireless had the sass to notify me that applying those rhinestones revokes the warranty. Yet now they sell them at their stores! Fuckers!

3. How are you today?

Pretty swell!

4. Are you the secret cause of your brother’s mental retardation?

I have only myself to blame.

5. What would be your theme song?

The midi to Galaga.

6. Is your dad limp-wristed?

No. Too arthritic and no affinity to Judy Garland. I checked. His closet.

7. How many lotto tickets would you buy with unlimited income?

Um, I’d stop at a $500.00 win. I’m not greedy

8. What kind of STD do you have, and how many people would you tell?

I don’t have any YET, but as soon as I know, I’ll post it on my super-secret blog! Gonohrreah; lol!

9. Favorite Top 3 drugs (herbal tea does not count- you pussy):

Naproxen, Caffeine, Codeine

10. When was the last time you shaved your pubes and did you do anything ‘special’ to them? Like a sort-of flower arrangement, perhaps?

I shaved a lighting bolt. I’ll dye them pink as soon as I can get a hold of that special pube-dye and photoshop a Christmas wreath around it as a card for the holidays- MERRY XMAS TO ALL!

11. Did you kick puppies/ kitties when you were a kid? C’mon, be honest; we won’t judge too harshly.

I kicked a weiner dog that kept trying to hump my leg. I kicked when no one was looking.

12. Dumbest use of money…GO!

A Casio keyboard. Various ineffective hair removal products.

13. If you could bitch-slap ANY celebrity with no limitations, which one?

Britney. It’s no secret I can’t stand mildly retarded people.

14. Raise your hands up if tha air if you have weak math skills?

How many is ‘arms’?

15. I grill_____.

Anything I can think of. No limits to my imagination.

16. I’m a douchebag because:

I gravitate towards the bad kind of people. You’d think I’d learn by now.

17. What part of your body would you enhance… and with what?

My corneas…with spatulas! My tits with Tap Lights! Well why not?!

18. Favorite board game…with TNT:

Connect 4 with C4-- BEEYATCH!

19. Favorite lesbian

My boyfriend

20. What would you do to lighten things up around here?

Buy everyone 3 rounds and watch the fireworks, heh-heh!

21. 3 Gayest things EVER…

The Notebook, the color Periwinkle, MTV shows.

22. Do people refer to you as ‘da baby-daddy’?

N / A

23. If I bought you a ghetto lunch, what would you order?

Lamb curry from the Golden Krust. It’s a real place I can assure you.

24. Favorite magic trick:

Making other people’s money disappear. BWAHAHAH!

25. What evil nanny would you hire to ‘watch’ your evil spawn?

The Bionic Woman can watch my brats if I had brats. She’d beat them into uncanny submission if I couldn’t get the job done. It’s ok, I’d have a great insurance plan by then.

26. Did you ever have to tell anyone to get out of your butt?

Ha, I should have!

27. Admit it! You’ve been to Canada!

NEVER! No really, never even been to Buffalo.

28. You got fired because…

I never got fired. Eat my dirt!

29. Is your home a home of Christ?

Says the crucifix on the wall.

30. Fill in this sentence: ___ ____ ____ Crack-Cocaine ____ _____ _____ ____ ____ ______.

Emmanuel Lewis and Crack-Cocaine would kill your huge f*cking erection.

31. What would your Tshirt say?

Why yes, I WILL be using these to my advantage!

32. Favorite polygon?

dodadecahedron

33. Play an instrument? And how gay is that?

The pan-flute is not so gay in DesMoines, thank you very much!

34. You worship…

2-ply toilet paper. Ask my A$$, get results!

35. SAT quiz...If pickles are nickels, then penises are…

I believe I failed this portion…miserably

36. I’m THUPER, ….!

THANKS FOR ATHKING!

37. I want to ___________ a horror movie.

”blow up a couple of clowns in”

38. Favorite piece of candy:

PoundCake because he’s all the candy-ass I’ll ever need.

39. If you could hop into the Delorian, where/when in time would you travel to?

1993 to tell myself to avoid the whole grunge look and start dressing more like a spring-break slut

40. If 8 is the square root of 64, then the square root of all evil is?

ME! Mimimimimimi meeeeeeeeeEEeEEeeee!

41. Quickly, assemble the following items in a McGuyver fashion: contact cement/ suppository/ wallstreet journal/ duct tape/ creamcheese bagel/ paperclips/ 2-way radio/ grapple-hook/ Rachel ray (for Dunkin Donuts)

I GOT A ---MY GOD! TERRI HATCHER?!

42. Alcohol of choice?

Long Island Ice Tea has all the alcohol I’ll ever need. While representing.

43. Antacid of choice?

Pepcid. Ahh pepcid. Your fizzy tablets addict me so.

44. What did you do when you had to scratch your genitals badly but were in public?

It involved ducking away from a monitored elevator, behind a pillar only to find a BIG security camera staring at my embarrassing magic trick of making half my arm disappear into my underwear.

45. With $45.00 I can________right now!

buy some really sh!tty weed, with more stems and seeds than actual oregano.

46. I would pierce…

My boyfriend’s c0ck n bAllz!

47. My extra-gay superhero name:

Klitora Hood of the waxed plains…VJ, the vajayjay and her trusty sidekick Kuntlina.

48. I own the entire season of ________ on DVD. I am lame.

I’m not telling

49. A sphincter-boy-says-what?

But a Horton-hears-a-who. What?!

50. And lastly, if you could do anything to change the world TO YOUR AMUSEMENT,---------ok GO!

Ship off every derelict I deem stupid off to Greenland. The end.